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website The Register
Biting the hand that feeds IT — sci/tech news and views for the world

Photographer can't cash in on primate pics

The US Copyright Office has ruled against the photographer who has claimed ownership of the infamous "monkey selfie" image.…


Three million web properties will go under the pwned hammer

Wayback is way ahead:  Three million webpages are set to become hacker fodder according to research that could predict what websites would become vulnerable ahead of time.…


Footballer targeted by puerile jokers

Gary Lineker is a celebrated footballer, telly host and crisp salesman. But it turns out that on the internet, what he's really remembered for is taking a big poo on the pitch during the 1990 Italia World Cup.…


Ten points of stuff out of a five pound bag

Yet another set of astonishing claims is being made for yet another "low energy nuclear reactions" (LENR) technology.…


Court rubber-stamps Max Schrems' class action

Privacy activist Max Schrems, leader of the "Europe-versus-Facebook" movement, has had a procedural win in Austria that means Facebook Ireland has to prep its defence.…


Pre-emptive arrest for pirates in Karnataka

In a move that has garnered little notice beyond India, the Government of Karnataka state early in August passed laws allowing it to pre-emptively arrest copyright suspects.…


But bit-shuffling box sales will rise by even more, says IDC

Analyst outfit IDC has gazed into its crystal balls and decided software-defined networking (SDN) will bring US$8bn through the door in 2018, a fund-manager-gratifying increase over the $960m it will account for in 2014.…


CUDA 6.5 eyes HPC market

NVIDIA has launched the next upgrade to its parallel computing and programming platform, with CUDA 6.5 going live as a production release.…


Oi! Didn't you get the Montreal memo?

Somewhere, a dry cleaner didn't get the memo: someone is putting an awful lot of carbon tetrachloride into the atmosphere, and NASA would like them to stop.…


Be careful what you install, say boffins. Again.

Researchers presenting at Usenix have lifted the lid on yet another Android vulnerability: the way apps use memory can be exploited to leak private information with a success rate "between 82 and 92 per cent of the time".…


Legere lures customers with promise of free data

T-Mobile US has promised a year's free mobile data for subscribers who convince friends and family to join its network.…


Cloud colossus still fondling DoD's top non-secrets for now

Amazon Web Services (AWS) has leveled up its US government security certification, winning the right to handle more sensitive work from the Department of Defense (DoD).…


Mikey Dickerson plans change in move from Google to running government IT

The incoming head of the newly formed US Digital Service – a crack sysadmin force to fix government IT systems – has said his team are focused less on looking smart and more on serious coding.…


Pay attention, miners

The Australian Taxation Office (ATO) has issued its official assessment of Bitcoin and other crypto-currencies – and decided it isn't money but can be taxed.…


Model S slated to land Down Under later this year

Tesla has confirmed to The Register that a network of its Supercharger stations is planned for Australia after its Model S arrives, later in 2014.…


Thanks, Obama.

The US government's National Science Foundation has handed out $20m in funding for two big new cloud computing research projects.…


Sun puts 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko on a diet

Vid  The European Space Agency's Rosetta probe has made the first measurement of the mass of the comet it's chasing – and has come up with a mass of 10 billion tonnes, plus or minus 10 per cent.…


Umina trial also delivers 30 mbps uploads, but exact rig used not revealed

NBN Co, the entity building Australia's National Broadband Network (NBN), has revealed the data transfer speeds obtained by folks connected to its test fibre—to-the-node network in the New South Wales Central Coast suburb of Umina.…


Upload exploits, download cash

Facebook and Usenix have together created the Internet Defense Prize™ – and awarded its first gong to security bods Johannes Dahse and Thorsten Holz.…


Look at the shiny Windows 8.1, why can't you people talk about 8.1, sobs an exec somewhere

Microsoft is putting on its poker face amid growing rumors it will officially unveil "Windows 9" at the end of next month.…


AnD yEt mOre cRazy cAps to dEal wIth

VMworld 2014  A little secret: The Reg's stalwart team of sub-editors are no fans of VMware – because its practice of using two capitals for VMware but one capital for products like vSphere is the kind of thing that does their pedantic heads in.…


¡Ay, caramba! Don't open hot Brazilian XXX.rar

Security watchers are tracking a new cyber-espionage campaign that appears to be targetting Latin American countries including Venezuela, Colombia and Ecuador.…


Teen boys eclipsed in A* GCSE Computing rankings

The latest GCSE results have shown that more girls are getting top marks at computing - while fewer boys are getting an A*.…


Sort it out HP, you're on a good thing here

Comment  HP storage emulated HP's latest overall quarterly results, with both good news and bad news, but the gloom overwhelmed the gleam.…


Screw copper phone lines, we're UNIQUE, bleats telco

Virgin Media is once again hiking up the price of its broadband service, while at the same time championing its cable network.…


A 'pretty strong signal,' says CEO

Two leading lights in open source and mobile have landed $54m in funding for their company.…


Paid-for apps that provide free downloads? Really

Microsoft has promised to crack down on rogue apps in its Windows Store following criticisms that the marketplace is littered with "scam" software.…


Cloud, all-flash kit, object storage slicing away at titans of storage

Comment  Great beasts can be killed by a 1,000 cuts, bleeding to death from the myriad slashes in their bodies – none of which, on their own, is a killer. And this, it seems, is the way things are going for big-brand storage arrays, as upstarts slice away at the market with converged systems, virtual SANs, all-flash kit, hybrid devices, object storage, software-defined storage and the cloud.…


ANOTHER pricy project to prop up barely used G-Cloud?

Public sector organisations in the UK will be able to buy cloud-based IT products and services from suppliers from a new online platform from the end of the month.…


USX to be VMware storage abstraction layer

Altantis Computing has come up with a rather neat marketing hook for its new USX device. Fancy getting your hands on teleport-enabled storage?…


Ancient browser to power ancient Redmond mobes

Opera will provide the browser for Microsoft's last dumbphones, under a new agreement between the two companies.…


Is bigger necessarily better for the fruity firm's flagship phone?

New pictures have surfaced that purport to show the casing for a new super-sized iPhone 6.…


Classified data on flight's disappearance pinched

Malaysian officials investigating the disappearance of flight MH370 have been targeted in a hacking attack that resulted in the theft of classified material.…


Spanish launch goes titsup, we're off to the US of A

The traditional portentous drumroll and fanfare of trumpets has added timpani and a throbbing bass synth crescendo today as we announce that the planned launch of our our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission has been relocated to New Mexico's Spaceport America.…


Get involved, get a job and then never discuss work ever again

Spooks have called upon the good people of Blighty to help protect an airline from attack by a vicious group of nerdy cyber-terrorists.…


Part one: Measuring how many bars you get in London

Special Report  In January I was in the pub with Richard, an old school friend I hadn’t seen for 30 years and whom I was keen to impress. Then he asked one of those seemingly simple questions. "Simon," he said. "You’ll know which 4G network I should be on".…


I know what you stored last summer

Stealth exit startup DataGravity has introduced a hybrid flash/disk array with rich metadata recording and reporting functions for file creation, keyword content, content change and access, as well as data protection functions and collaboration help.…


Nice hardware, shame about the use case

Review  Microsoft’s Surface Pro 3.0 tablet sees its UK release on 28 August. But why is the Surface fondleslab called Surface?…


Hoping Choc Factory wants third-party infosec sweeties

An international group of researchers believes Android needs more extensible security, and is offering up a framework they hope either Google or mobe-makers will take for a spin.…


Some 30,000 machines found with front doors wide open

A scan of the public internet by security researchers has seemingly revealed thousands upon thousands of computers fully accessible via VNC – with no password required.…


That's not the website you're looking for

A rogue anti-virus program called Defru has taken to the browser to find a smarter way of infecting users, Microsoft researchers say.…


Analyst predicts fanbois will have to wait until next year

Tech analyst Ming-Chi Kuo, who has a decent track record on Apple production issues, has risked breaking the hearts of fanbois everywhere with the prediction that the iWatch might not be released until next year.…


Perfect Forward Secrecy added to SSL suite

Amazon has beefed up security on its CloudFront services, adding Perfect Forward Secrecy, OCSP stapling and session tickets to its SSL support.…


ORTC: Skype without, ummm, Skype?

A standard proposal to get voice/video chats into standard browsers has brought Microsoft and Google onto the same side of the table.…


Acquired tech said to 'de-compose' Windows, a job Microsoft was doing by itself

VMware has bought itself a pre-VMWorld snack, in the form of application delivery outfit CloudVolumes.…


Man-in-the-middles all round!

Sloppy programming, poor patching, and unreliable trust engines are rife within Android apps, according to a new study. In short, millions smartphone users are potentially wide open to man-in-the-middle attacks, it's claimed.…


ALEC will have to do without Redmond, it seems

After a year of participating in the American Legislative Exchange Council, Microsoft has decided that even tangential alignment with a high-profile oil-funded lobby is not what it wants.…


Linux Foundation swells ranks, coffers

LinuxCon 2014  As LinuxCon 2014 kicks off this week in Chicago, the Linux Foundation has announced that it has won new support from across the technology industry, including several hardware companies.…


Take that parachute off, Meg. You won't be needing that, eh?

Think of HP, and what comes to mind? Business critical systems? Printers? Software? Lord no – it's laptops and bog-standard servers ruling the company's roost right now.…


As many as 100k transactions spied upon by malware

UPS has discovered an outbreak of debit and credit-card-reading malware in 51 of its branches in the US.…